Holiday-ing with the family….it was over too quickly which is a sure sign of a fantastic week off. We ate lots, explored new parts of the world previously undiscovered by me, put the world to rights over cocktails, had late nights and had early ones too….It was beautiful.
A week in paradise surrounded by some of my nearest and dearest made me realise something. I for one am always worrying about making my “peg” fit into a certain shaped “hole”….I teach Yoga for a living…I meditate and play the Gong….my parents run a Yoga Retreat Centre…all these things build up an image in my mind of what I THINK that person should look like. That person should NOT drink Gin and Tonic, that person should have NO tummy rolls and be able to put their leg behind their head ON DEMAND…..that person should be VEGAN well versed on all things spiritual.
And then there’s me.
The pressure we put on ourselves because of self-created expectations of what something should look like can sneak up on you from behind and envelope you before you’ve had a chance to notice…then KAPOW. You are swamped with these personal judgements and expectations that make you feel like a constant fraud and failure.
My holiday taught me it’s OK to be a square peg surrounded by oval holes. It’s OK to just be Chloe, muddling my way through.
And I see it all the time….we allow our professions, other peoples views, media, family, even out-dated opinions of ourselves create an expectation…or EGO. It’s what makes us feel safe at times because we can identify with something….we create likes and dislikes, opinions and all of a sudden a “personality” forms. However it can also be our greatest downfall, leading to exhaustion, frustration and misery because it stops us from evolving.
So what have you been allowing to define yourself? Has that been building unnecessary pressure and expectation? What are you going to do about it?
I am going to buy a book and read something that isn’t related to Yoga or spirituality. I am going to go out with the girls and not feel guilty about getting tipsy because of what people might think. And I am going to stop forming opinions of myself based on expectation. SCREW YOU EXPECTATION. I will not fit into your box…I will fit into my skin and my skin only.
And that’s what my holiday taught me. Not bad for a week in Spain, eh??? Bring on the next one 🙂
Keep practising, Yogis…but don’t let it define you! Hope to see you on the mat soon,